So the Christmas gifts my sister-in-law sent from Phoenix just got here a couple days ago. I thought it was funny that the gift she sent me (coffee) suited me better than the gift she sent her own brother (a boggle pen & a snoopy tee shirt) suited him. Yesterday I didn't get the chance to brew my new coffee, but today I did. The smell of cinnamon coffee has sent me back in time, to a completely different lifetime.
I am 20 years old, but if you ask me, I say "almost 21." I get up to go to work at Dillard's. I still live in Helena, MT. I live with Shauna & I swear she hates me, but I go about getting ready for my day of work, usually slightly hungover after a night of driking. I brew my fancy Gevalia cinnamon coffee & add cocoa to my coffee cup, and a little extra cinnamon to the grounds before it brews. I head out the door.
I don't drive, and it's 9 a.m. on a beautiful summer morning, so I walk the mile & a half along the side streets to the mall. I have my portable c.d. player & my bad country music in my ears. I think about a lot of things: My boyfriend, Jim; moving to Idaho; James, who I love dearly, but don't want a relationship with; friends; my recent ex, Randy; etc. I smell wonderful flowers and other fresh summer morning smells along the way. It's too chilly to walk on the shaded side of the street. The sun is blinding, but I hate sunglasses & I don't even own a pair. A cell phone isn't even part of my vocabulary yet.
Sometimes Jim walks with me if he's around, but he's rarely around. It's on one of these walks that I break the news to him that I am moving. He doesn't seem to take our relationship seriously, anyway, so why does it seem to hit him so hard? I thought I had nothing to lose by leaving, but there is no taking it back now. We decide to stay together until I leave, and we have a lot of fun until I do.
It was a simple time back then. Sure, I was drinking, smoking, having a good time. Guys were noticing me for the first time of my life. It was probably my most care-free time of my life (and I got the credit card debt to prove it). And the cinnamon coffee I drank sure tasted delicious.
1 comment:
I can relate to a lot of what you're saying here- smells definitely bring you back, and I can also empathize with longing for that time in my life when (even though I didn't fully know it at the time) I was happy and care free. Thanks for sharing your page with me. :)
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